Recommendation: This is essentially the female response to Tucker Max. Or Tucker Max is the male response to Chelsea Handler, I don’t really know (or care) who came first. And if Tucker Max is gonna be popular, then I’m glad Handler is too. But, personally, I don’t find much entertainment in mediocre writing and insulting people you’ve had sex with. It’s funny for a couple chapters, but if your sense of empathy ever kicks in, you’ll turn this audio off quickly.
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Chelsea Handler is a pretty popular lady now-a-days. She has her own late night T.V. show and…I don’t know, does other things I’m sure, but My Horizontal Life was her first major success. It is a collection of stories about the many sexual encounters that Handler had in her younger years. There’s quite the range of stories in here; from possible sex with a little person (who Handler was a complete jerk to) to encountering a penis that was simply too big to deal with, Handler has certainly had her fair share of experiences.
There are some funny parts to these stories, but they mostly happen in the first chapters when Handler’s approach is still novel. By halfway through the book, all Handler’s jokes have worn thin and that’s when you have to confront the fact that maybe it’s not the best thing to make fun of intimate details from other people’s lives. Especially people that got naked with you and probably didn’t realize there was a chance that their story would be told to millions of people worldwide.
There was also a specific technique that drove me crazy. Handler would describe something that sounded somewhat interesting but still rather ordinary and then she would use a bizarre simile to make up for the fact that she couldn’t put any humor into her actual writing. “I wore a slinky gray dress that ballooned on my neckline. It was like a snake popping out the top of a Pringles can! [Insert Laugh Track Here]”
Just to be clear, that is not a line from the book. You probably don’t need that clarification since I have no idea how to talk about dresses and necklines correctly and probably just created a sentence that makes as much sense as….well as a snake popping out of a Pringles can. But, just to be sure. That same technique is used at least once a chapter and probably closer to once a page. Even great writers need a bailout every now and then, but if you need them this often, then maybe you are not great.
I guess I should be fair and mention that Handler makes fun of herself quite a bit as well. She’s not just picking on everyone around her and putting herself on a pedestal. She’s down in the dirt with everyone else. But, in reality she spends more time punching her dates than herself. And I’m not cool with that. Now, I’m quite a believer in the Don’t Kiss and Tell philosophy, so I wasn’t terribly surprised that I had a poor reaction to the book. Those of you with different sensibilities will almost certainly derive more enjoyment from it than I did, so keep that in mind. Regardless, I won’t be recommending this book to any of my friends.